Can I Be My Own Best Friend?

How often do you ask yourself this question?

The thing is you are strong. You always have been. You are the one who steps up when things get tough, the one other’s lean on. Your friendships are many, your ability to cope admirable, and yet, in the quiet moments, when no one is looking, a different story plays out.

Self-doubt whispers. Recrimination lingers. That old, gnawing fear that one day you’ll be caught out, that someone will see through these capable exterior shadows your beliefs that you sometimes deserve more. Maybe this way of thinking has become so normal to you that you tell yourself so long as the kids are happy, I’m happy, so long as my partner’s happy, I’m happy. Is that enough?

You accept attitudes that diminish you. You dismiss compliments. You feel anger or sadness when others fail to treat you with the same care and respect you so readily extend. Yet, you push these feelings down and move on because that’s what you do.

But let me ask you something, if a friend came to you feeling the way you do now, what would you say to them? Would you tell them they aren’t good enough? That they should just accept less? Or would you remind them of their worth, encourage them to stand tall, to demand more and when you offer this advice like a warrior protecting does it engage your subconscious mind to adhere to this advice? Or do you think it’s different for you?

Your Inner Dialogue Matters

That voice inside your head shapes your reality. Remember the mind ois always listening. If it’s critical, if it undermines your achievements, if it keeps you stuck in patterns of self-doubt, then you will live your life constantly battling against yourself. You, who so easily offers kindness and encouragement to others, deserve the same from yourself!

Being your own best friend isn’t about arrogance or selfishness, its not about changing who you are, t’s about recognising that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s. It’s about changing the script the story you’ve been playing in your mind, it’s about showing yourself the same grace you would offer a loved one.

Learning for Yourself, Not for Others

You have spent your life adapting, learning, and growing in order to meet the expectations of the world around you. But what if you shifted that? What if you learned and grew simply to feel better for yourself, not for others, not to prove yourself, not to earn love, but because you deserve to feel at peace in your own skin?

The truth is, I understand this struggle intimately. I practice this shift in thinking every day because, like you, I needed to feel this change myself. I started this journey not because I had it all figured out, but because I wanted to. I knew I needed to. And I am always working to recognise emotions before they take hold so that I can respond in ways that honour my own well-being and when I do it feels good!

You see it isn’t about perfection. It’s about practice. About choosing, each day, to treat yourself with the respect, kindness, and patience you so willingly offer others.

So, can you really be your own best friend? 

Absolutely And if you are willing to start, even in small ways, you may just find that the voice inside you becomes your greatest ally instead of your harshest critic.

You are worthy of your own kindness. You always have been…

You just need to tell yourself, that’s all!

Karen.